Welcome to our series: Perelel Lives. We live in a society that glamorizes and celebrates women‘s careers, the companies they’ve built, the movements they’ve created. But, what we’ve failed to highlight is a facet of their lives that is far more personal—a side that presents perhaps the hardest, but most rewarding job of all—a job with no PTO, no holiday breaks, no sick days, and no salary. Oh, and it also lasts a lifetime: motherhood.
Perelel Lives elevates stories on becoming and being a mother from our community of women we admire, women who do it in parallel to their personal and professional pursuits. Here, we have real conversations about motherhood.
When we find our insta scroll pausing on a moment of striking and effortless cool it’s usually created by one woman: Stella Simona. Creative entrepreneur and designer of the highly-covetable jewelry brands Amarilo and Haati Chai, Simona has a unique ability to create aesthetics that stun with their simplicity and ooze style.
A favorite follow amongst team Perelel, we were thrilled to get candid with Simona about prioritizing family, creating space for self care, and embracing the shift in identity that comes with motherhood. Here’s her wise take—unfiltered.
Perelel: Did you always know you wanted to become a mother?
Stella Simona: Yes, definitely. When I envisioned my future, motherhood was always in it.
P: Were there periods where you didn’t want to have children?
SS: Oh yes. As an entrepreneur I always dedicated 1,000 percent of myself to my craft and as badly as I wanted motherhood it just felt like something I couldn’t accommodate into my lifestyle. What I realized after having my first son was that as entrepreneurs especially we do what we want so we can have the life that we want and if motherhood was a part of that then we women will do whatever it takes to make it all fit.
P: Why do you think so many of us breeze over motherhood like it’s a cake walk in the media? Like we handle it so easily and play the whole “balance” card? We never get real about it publicly. Why do you think that is?
SS: I think we do this for a lot of reasons. Some of us may feel that sharing the highlights will help them focus on the “beauty” of it. Many of us may feel that sharing a difficult moment might make it seem like they hate their children. For me personally, I do fear that being open can come off wrong and the last thing I want is for people to think I hate motherhood and my kids especially. Motherhood is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’ve grown in ways I have never imagined and constantly want to do better.
P: How would you describe yourself as a mom versus yourself in your other roles?
SS: I love this question. I am not selfish. I am tender.
P: Have your priorities shifted? If so, how?
SS: I’m in a chapter in my life where my kids and my family come first. I can revisit furthering myself in my career or constantly leaving for trips down the line. I, however, cannot revisit these precious years and I want to be as present as possible for my kids.
P: Did your relationship with yourself and your individual identity change? How so? And, what was that like?
SS: I am still the same woman, just more refined. I believe becoming a mother presented me with a lot of opportunities for self-reflection and I am evolving each day from this ongoing experience. The way I value time as an individual has improved significantly. Where I place my energy, how I divide my schedule, I'm so much more efficient now. I would say this is something I was always working towards but more than ever I’ve really become a master at balancing time.
P: How do you take care of yourself or prioritize yourself?
SS: I am a firm believer in self-care. In order to be my best self for others I need to show up for myself first. I love to indulge in a long beauty routine, a bath, a day at the beach—a lot of moments to reset and reflect.
P: What’s the most valuable advice you’ve received about being a mother?
SS: You will always know yourself best and you will always know your children best. Don’t listen to everything everyone says. Take what feels right to you and apply it.
P: Any rituals you’ve incorporated that have helped you forge stronger connections with your child(ren) as well as yourself?
SS: Indulging in beauty rituals with my boys. I’m Bangladeshi and traditionally we give each other relaxing scalp and body massages. It’s an intimate moment to relax and bond. My boys love receiving the massages and lately try to give them to myself and my husband and even each other. It’s absolutely adorable.
We want to hear your motherhood story—share by joining the Perelel community on social or by subscribing to our newsletter.
This article is for informational purposes only. It is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and we recommend that you always consult with your healthcare provider. To the extent that this article features the advice of physicians or medical practitioners, the views expressed are the views of the cited expert and do not necessarily represent the views of Perelel.
Written by Jessica Lopez. Jessica Lopez is a freelance writer, digital content creator, and new mother. She has covered all lifestyle topics ranging from bridal to beauty for publications including Brides Magazine, Byrdie, THE/THIRTY, and more. Walking wide-eyed into motherhood has inspired her to connect with other parents through her writing and shared experience. You can follow more of her journey @Jessica.H.Lopez.