If you don't mind us getting personal for a second, we have a serious question related to your health: How often are you having sex? We ask because the answer goes a long way when it comes to your health and well-being. In fact, regular sex can help improve your mental health and your relationship, and help you handle the daily stressors life throws our way. That’s not even to mention some of the physical benefits like blood pressure regulation, immune system support, and a net positive on heart health, too.
To weigh in on the health benefits of sex, we tapped Lyndsey Harper, MD, the founder & CEO of Rosy, an app for women with decreased sexual desire and other sexual problems. She contends that the first priority is making time to get busy—even as we’re juggling work, family, and everything else on the agenda.
"If sex is on your mind but not on your calendar, consider scheduling a sexy date sometime soon," says Harper. "Life is full of commitments vying for our attention and time, and the opportunity to take advantage of these benefits might slip away from you without the proper prioritization. When you reframe how you think about sex, you can start to benefit more from the serious benefits that sex can offer you both in and out of the bedroom."
Keep reading for five reasons you should have more sex.
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Sex improves your mood.
"During intercourse, the body releases large doses of neurotransmitters and hormones, including dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins,” says Harper. “These hormones can decrease symptoms of anxiety and depression, and replace those with pleasure, connectedness, and an increased sense of well-being. This gives an immediate mood benefit that can last for hours to follow."
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Sex decreases stress.
It’s not just a surge of feel-good hormones, but the regulation of stress hormones, too. "While your brain is being flooded with happy chemicals, cortisol also decreases,” says Harper. “This combination of reactions in the body results in the zen state that so many describe after sex. Additionally, if sex is combined with an orgasm, the hormone prolactin is released which can result in better sleep and is much better for you than that glass of wine!"
A good case for viewing sex as self-care, no?
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Sex can act as the lubricant for your relationship.
Sure, the idea of sex as a tool for intimacy might not be exactly groundbreaking—but it bears emphasis that while every couple’s sex life is different, sex helps maintain a deep connection in a partnership.
"Long-term relationships are a major commitment with many everyday hurdles to overcome,” says Harper. “When couples are not sexually intimate, these problems can feel even bigger than they actually are. Good sex can act as the grease that keeps us bonded during these challenges. Miscommunications and sharing of life and parenting duties are much more manageable when a couple's intimacy is intact. There is a special bond between members of a healthy sexual couple that makes these other hurdles easier to navigate."
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Sex is fun!
(Just a friendly reminder.) "When we are out of the habit of having sex it can seem like a chore or just another thing to check off of the neverending to-do list,” says Harper. “When we think of sex in this way, we forget how fun sex actually can be. Sex offers an opportunity for play, something we don’t get very often as adults. We can express our creativity, be vulnerable with our partner, try new things, and continue learning and growing in our sexual lives."
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Having sex makes you want more sex.
How many times after sex have you said, “That was fun—we should do it more often?"
“Sex is sometimes like a form of exercise: When we don’t exercise often, we might rather lay in bed and watch Netflix,” says Harper. “But when we start exercising regularly, we can’t imagine life without it because we remember how much we love it and how good it makes us feel. The same applies to frequent sex. When we have a positive mindset about sex and engage with an open heart and mind regularly, we have an entirely new pathway to feel-good hormones, less stress, a smoother relationship, and fun. Sex quickly changes from a chore to something to look forward to and savor."
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References:
1. Luke Curtis, Sex saves lives, European Journal of Preventive Cardiology, Volume 29, Issue 1, January 2022, Page e38, https://doi.org/10.1093/eurjpc/zwaa102
2. Ramadhan MA, Hashim HT. The Effects of Sexual Frequency… Fertil Steril. 2021 Sep;116(3):e113. doi: 10.1016/j.fertnstert.2021.07.316. Epub 2021 Sep 17. PMCID: PMC8446874
