The Cost of Becoming a Parent for LGBTQ+

The Cost of Becoming a Parent for LGBTQ+

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Sixty-three percent of LBGTQ+ millennials are considering expanding their families. And yet, the cost of becoming a parent for the LGBTQ+ community can go up to $175,000. Yes, you read that right.

In honor of Pride this month and our mission to support every journey here at Perelel, we're taking a closer look fertility by the numbers for the LGBTQ+ community and explore what it means to advocate for fertility equality for all.

Plus, are you an LGBTQ+ parent-to-be? We’ve compiled a list of resources to help with your journey to parenthood. Read on below.

Fertility by the Numbers: LGBTQ+

63% of LBGTQ+ millennials (ages 18-35) are considering expanding their families.1

An estimated 2 million LGBTQ+ people are interested in adopting.2

Up to 10% of fertility-clinic patients are LQBTQ+.3

And queer couples represent one-third of donor-sperm users.4

Though surrogacy is increasing among gay couples, still the average cost is up to a whomping $175,000.5

Today, LGBTQ+ individuals face barriers accessing fertility care as they often do not meet definitions of “infertility” that would qualify them for covered services.

Leading many to call for fertility equality, a movement that envisions a future where the ability to create a family is no longer determined by one’s wealth, sexuality, gender or biology.

How does that work? Advocates are asking that insurance companies cover the costs of reproductive procedures like: sperm retrieval, egg donation, embryo creation, and surrogacy fees for all prospective parents—including LGBTQ+ couples. 

Plus, support around policies like the 2017 Uniform Parentage Act will help ensure that LGBTQ+ parents have legal parentage to their children, though currently those laws vary greatly state by state.


Are you LGBTQ+ and looking for help in navigating your own reproductive health and fertility journey? Bookmark these resources below.

Mental Health & Counseling

Pride Counseling


Communities & Organizations

Family Equality

Our Family Coalition in California


National Center for Transgender Equality

Trans Health

My Trans Health

Thems Health

Reproductive Health Information

Reproductive Facts


Affirming LGBTQ+ Centers and Clinics

LA LGBT Center

SF LGBT Center

Fenway Health

Mazzoni Center


Queer Med

Center on Halsted

UCSF Transgender Center of Excellence


Baby Making for Everybody: Family Building and Fertility for LGBTQ+ and Solo Parents ($15) by Marea Goodman, LM, CPM

Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception ($30) by Lisa Schuman & Mark Leondires 

You'll Be a Wonderful Parent: Advice and Encouragement for Rainbow Families of All Kinds ($17) by Jasper Peach

Roads to Family: All the Ways We Come to Be ($32) by Rachel HS Ginocchio

Immaculate Misconception: A Story of Biology and Belonging ($17) by Dr. Gwen Bass

How to Be an Ally

Here's how to advocate for a world with fertility equality for all and support LGBTQ+ parents-to-be and families.

  • Get educated about issues and policies that affect LGBTQ+ families.
  • Advocate for inclusive fertility benefits and paid leave in your workplace.
  • Normalize the journey. Read books to your children that showcase different family structures and creation stories.
  • Support LGBTQ+ communities and organizations working to create a more equal world.

Shop the Article:

Read next: Rediscovering your sexual identity, blended families and IVF for LGBTQ+ with Linda Fruits. Plus, shop doctor-made vitamins for each unique stage of your reproductive health journey now., 2019
Gates, G. “LGBT Parenting in the United States.” Williams Institute, UCLA School of Law, 2013
New York Times, 2020
Fertility and Sterility Journal, 2017
Family Match Consulting, 2022

This article is for informational purposes only. It is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and we recommend that you always consult with your healthcare provider. To the extent that this article features the advice of physicians or medical practitioners, the views expressed are the views of the cited expert and do not necessarily represent the views of Perelel.