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“It’s a Hard Journey.” Navigating the Ups and Downs of Infertility, According to Our Community

“It’s a Hard Journey.” Navigating the Ups and Downs of Infertility, According to Our Community

In today’s extremely online culture of highlight reels and happy endings, it’s no wonder those struggling with infertility feel frustrated, alone, and exhausted. But when surveying nearly 1000 members of our community about their TTC experience, the hundreds of heartfelt, vulnerable responses we received are a testament to the fact that there’s so much shared experience in this chapter—and underscore the critical importance of connecting with one another.  

Our mission has always been to build a world with more healthy, supported women. In our survey, we found that 73% of women say they do feel supported by their community. That’s a solid number, to be sure, but we know there’s always more work to do. 

Read on for our community’s perspectives on the ups and downs of navigating infertility.

What you wish other people knew:

“If someone is going through fertility treatment, they’ve already exhausted every other option. Yelling them to just relax and have more sex is incredibly unhelpful. We’re infertile, not stupid!”

“I don't want to be treated like I'm fragile and that my infertility defines me.”

“It is mentally draining.”

“How difficult it actually is to go through it in silence and how straining it is on your mental health.”

“It can feel lonely... A negative test hurts the first month just as much as the sixth month."

“‘Healthy’-appearing people can struggle to conceive.”

“I wish people would be more mindful when asking ‘when are you going to have children?’”

“It is all-consuming, but I am not a charity case.”

“Everyone's journey is different. Know that and never make assumptions.”

The raw truth:

“It's been a long, hard road.”

“Sometimes, even though you try everything, it still doesn't work.”

“A negative test hurts the first month just as much as it hurts the sixth month.”

“The feeling of going to the bathroom and seeing your period every month is isolating, even with a supportive partner.”

“Many are struggling in silence.”

“Every month that my period comes, I feel defeated.”

What you remind yourself:

“Every woman is different and there isn't one cure-all for infertility.”

“Comparison is the thief of joy and social media happy endings are isolating and brutal.”

“You’re not alone… you have a whole community of people who will support you if you let them.”

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Despite the fact that fertility is 50/50, our survey also shed light on the imbalanced burden that men and women shoulder around infertility. While 94% of female respondents are taking supplements to aid with conception, only 42% of their partners are also taking supplements. 

Want more support on your fertility journey? Check out our Conception Support Pack*—formulated by leading fertility doctors to prepare your body for pregnancy. For those fertility journeys that might need a little extra support, introducing Fertility+ Support—made by two of the country's leading fertility doctors with an antioxidant boost and additional CoQ10. 

And don't forget to check out our doctor-backed content on TTC—from finding your fertile window to the best foods to eat for conception.