Welcome to our series: Perelel Lives. We live in a society that glamorizes and celebrates women‘s careers, the companies they’ve built, the movements they’ve created. But, what we’ve failed to highlight is a facet of their lives that is far more personal—a side that presents perhaps the hardest, but most rewarding job of all—a job with no PTO, no holiday breaks, no sick days, and no salary. Oh, and it also lasts a lifetime: motherhood.
Perelel Lives elevates stories on becoming and being a mother from our community of women we admire, women who do it in parallel to their personal and professional pursuits. Here, we have real conversations about motherhood.
One look at Linh Niller’s Instagram feed will show you that less really can be more. From creating content to art directing and designing interiors, the multi-hyphenate embodies what it means to be effortlessly elegant and to live beautifully.
As she transitions into the new and exciting chapter that is motherhood, team Perelel was thrilled to hear her thoughts on embracing life as it happens, being gentle with herself and chasing her dreams. Keep scrolling to read Niller’s mindful take on becoming a mother.
Perelel: Did you always know you wanted to become a mother?
Linh Niller: I always knew I wanted to become a mother. I am so grateful that it is part of my journey. I’m ready to grow through this experience and embrace all that motherhood has to offer.
P: Were there periods where you didn’t want to have children?
LN: The only time I couldn’t imagine having children at a certain point in my life was when I was in a very toxic relationship.
P: How did you know when you were ready for kids?
LN: To be honest, there wasn’t any particular day when I knew I was ready. As I was growing up, I would envision myself and my future family and I had an idea of when I’d like it to happen. Looking back, I realize that societal expectations had quite a lot of impact on when I thought it was supposed to happen. I thought it would happen after I’ve accomplished X,Y, and Z in my career, have bought a home with my future husband, and then the next step would be to have children. But when I found out I was pregnant this year, I decided to let go of how it’s “supposed” to happen in my head and embrace how it IS happening. Life has its own plan. Sometimes it is in sync with what we had in mind and sometimes it is wildly different. I asked myself, in reality, when will I ever feel “ready”? I can still accomplish goals in my career and personal life while growing and raising a family. It can happen simultaneously. It doesn’t have to happen linearly.
P: How did you feel about the idea of motherhood with regards to your career or personal passions? Were you fearful of having to make concessions?
LN: At this moment, I feel like motherhood will push me to achieve my goals and dreams in regards to my careers even more so. I get a sense I will feel fearless and have more confidence in myself. For a lot of my adult years, I had some doubts about my abilities to do all the things I wanted and it would stop me from pursuing it. But now that I am about to have my own little family, I constantly ask myself - what’s stopping you? Anything is possible. Believe in yourself. Make your dreams come true!
In the earlier months of my pregnancy, I did feel more fearful of having to say no to jobs or having opportunities pass over me due to my pregnancy (I have to be in front of the camera for the majority of my work). This was short lived though because I understood that everything is temporary. I was working nonstop the year before and I loved it, but I also was feeling a bit burnt out. I am a natural planner so I made sure I had enough back-up savings and a general plan as my work slows down so that no matter what, I feel confident in my time off as someone who is self-employed.
P: Did your relationship with yourself and your individual identity change? How so? And, what was that like?
LN: Becoming pregnant and watching as my body changes, as my baby grows, as my mindset shifts, I certainly felt a change in my individual identity and relationship with myself. I am constantly thinking about the baby and how my actions will impact her. I sit with my thoughts more and allow myself to work through it rather than be reactionary. In the past, I was more reactionary than patient with myself and my feelings. The more time I take to understand myself better, the more centered I feel. I strive to continue to work on myself and feel more balanced in order to fully be there for my child as we grow together.
P: How do you take care of yourself or prioritize yourself?
LN: I take care of myself by journaling my feelings and thoughts, by taking some alone time by either taking a little walk outdoors or drawing myself a bath. I book prenatal massages and acupuncture whenever I feel like my body needs it. Then I take care of myself in small ways everyday by doing my skincare routine, reminding myself to drink water, remembering to take prenatal vitamins everyday, and making healthy choices.
P: What’s one piece of advice you would share with another mom-to-be?
LN: Be gentle on yourself during this process. I know we experience so many different emotions and have so many thoughts and worries during this time. It can feel very overwhelming. Just know that it’s part of the human process. Everything is going to be okay. Be gentle on yourself.
P: Where do you go when you need advice? Do you have any “mom mentors?”
LN: I go to my closest friends who know me best, my partner, and my mom depending on the advice I need. My mom is my mentor. We talk to each other like best friends. She is very understanding of me and always knows what to say when I need advice.
We want to hear your motherhood story! Tell us by joining our community, Village by Perelel.